I don't know what it is about me that women find so unappealing. I always try my best to respect women no matter what, let them know that I see how strong they are, and let them know that I value them as people. I always try to let them speak and never talk over them. I've been working on things like not mansplaining ever since I knew it was a problem and I always try to make women feel safe.
Somehow though, I just never met the right woman and I don't know what to do. I've only ever had one girlfriend but we never got physical. It was an open relationship and she had a lot of suitors.
I'm in tears right now. I'm not worried about something silly like my "masculinity." I'm one of the least masculine men you can find anywhere. I just wish I could be with a woman.
I know it's wrong for me to write this. I don't want to sound entitled and if you knew me in real life then you'd know that I don't act entitled. I make absolute sure that there's nothing I'm doing which could make a woman feel like I'm expecting sex or like I see her as a sexual object.
I know I'm not entitled to sex but I still want it. How could there not be ONE woman who I have this connection with? I've been reading Dr. Nerdlove for years and I've been trying my best to be respectful, natural, and not "rock the boat." I'm just so sad and lonely.
I'm gonna spend my whole 40th birthday crying.
